Bringing forth your best in all things...even when it looks blank

  
  I usually try to have fun and offer a more relaxed atmosphere in my blog. Today will be a little different. 

  Do you ever have so many ambitions that you don't know where to begin? I need you to understand where I am at in life, what my goals 'possibly' are and why I feel so stuck at this point.

  I vision myself standing in the middle of basically nowhere, looking in all directions trying to decide where and what to do next. Imagine a blank nothing room with no walls, no color, no direction, that is where I am. I try to take a couple steps one way and since there is no sense of direction I cannot tell how far I actually have gone, so I turn and try to go another way but again no sense if i am actually moving forward, sideways or backwards. My ambitions, goals, dreams and wants out of life are currently being pulled in so many directions that I cannot tell if I am progressing in those things or digressing. Its not that I don't have things I want to achieve, its what to go for first and what will bring forth what we need [financially and emotionally] at this moment. It's knowing the next step and knowing where and when to step. Do you get what I am saying? 

  I have things I love to do that have a schedule and I do not have to really consider the next step. For example, I am a support group leader for my one disease. There really is not too much planning besides the schedule of meetings and traveling now and again to seminars. Basically the same thing year after year. There is also the women's ministry I help with. I have been blessed to be the assistant coach of the program for this upcoming round again and although there is ALOT of things that 'pop' up as the program starts, I still know what I will be up against and how to handle the things thrown my way. 

  So what about the things with no schedule, no sense of direction, no nothing....that's where I am in that room. Two businesses, both things I love very much but also two things opposite end of the spectrum. As I weigh out the cons and pros of each business I think I know which one I want to pursue and then something happens that causes me to not take that step forward. It's not fear of the unknown, its the commitment maybe??....but it could also be that thought of failure [which I am NOT scared of since more learning comes through the failures]. So where do I go from here, how do I choose where to pour myself in and where to pull back [for now]?

  Oh and there's one more thing....without giving much information, I am looking into going back to school again for a career path that my Grandmother had once visioned me doing. It's something that has me on the fence too. I had returned to school and completed a degree in 2014 and now I am wanting to go farther and do so much more...but again it weighs on my shoulders and the unknown has me blank faced again. 

  I am certain where I am now and what all I do, is not what I am suppose to do. I cannot hold this many hats along with homeschooling all at once. I need direction, I need to be advised [preferably with a big huge sign] on which way I should go next....it's usually not that easy, although I do pray to God that I am pretty oblivious to 'signs' so he really needs to post the sign on my forehead so I am CERTAIN which way to go! Yes I do take on a lot, yes I have problems telling people no, yes I have goals and want to reach them all. But I know that I cannot do this alone and I also know that I have a specific purpose and maybe NONE of these things are what I am suppose to be or do but it's setting me up for something bigger and better.

  For now, I will continue to pour myself into each thing he has called me to do and pray that my route becomes a little more clear with each step I do dare to take.

Thanks for reading and allowing me to be apart of your life! 

Blessings,
Aimee